Love for all Seasons

Christmas has come and gone, and we have barely survived the pain it always seems to bring us with our dysfunctional family problems. I wish our family would let go of old resentments and imagined slights and just TRY to get along!

My husband's (and his mother's) Christmas was ruined by two of his daughters who feel the need to "punish" us for past misunderstandings or mistakes. Also, my Thanksgiving visit with my sister in Kentucky was ruined by both of our raw sensitivities to everything the other said. I ended up leaving in a huff and not even eating Thanksgiving dinner.

My sons came over and spent Christmas afternoon with me alone. I made an egg brunch casserole, and we had eggnog. Our gifts were sparse, but the love was plenty! Though we have gone through our difficult times in the past, we know that our love is solid for each other. No matter what, we can forgive and go forward...trying to do better in the future.

I thank God that He forgives and moves forward every time I mess up. What would I do if He didn't? I just praise Him for sending His Son to pay the blood sacrifice for my sins. I thank Him that He forgives my sin nature that continually rises up in defiance of His great love. I always have my Lord's love.

Friends are God's gift...

Although some difficult situations have not all been resolved, we are handling them a little better. Life is going on, every day. I have so many friends who care for me, and that I love dearly. I don't know what I would do without them! God has blessed me with them, and I am so thankful.
I belong to a Bible Study group on Tuesday nights. Right now, we are studying Esther. I really love Beth Moore studies. Great group of ladies in this group, too.
I also belong to a group of ladies who enjoy a monthly "Girl's Night Out". We have about 6 or 7 of us that meet for dinner once a month at different restaurants. We have built lasting friendships through this group of ladies that originated in a Sunday School class.
My church family will eternally be mine. Those whom I have been blessed with studying God's Word and fellowshipping with. If I don't get to see them as much as I'd like, then I'll get to spend more time with them in Heaven!
My friends are sisters and brothers I choose to have in my life, and that God has allowed me to be in their lives.

Landing on our feet

It seems like everything that could go wrong, is going wrong at the same time! It seems like it just comes in waves. One of my best friends told me last night, that we always land on our feet, so we shouldn't worry about it so much.
She is right. I have my God, my Lord Jesus by my side. He always looks out for me. He is there for me: my strength, my shelter in the storm. It is all going to be alright as long as I keep my eyes on Him.

A long time coming...

It seems that we eventually do have to deal with things we have put off for years. There have been issues with my husband's ex-wife that he kept putting off and hoping it would change or go away that have now resurfaced again. He is finally planning to deal with these issues and put them to rest. Unfortuneately, it looks as if it may be costing us a lot more than if he had dealt with it when it first came up. It has also cost more in hurt feelings and resentment.
That's a lesson to be learned, sometimes. When something happens we find difficult to deal with, don't let it fester and become painful and ugly. We need to take it to the Lord and give it to Him. Ask His guidance and repent of any wrongdoing we have done in regard to the matter. Then go forward and try to make it right. I know that God will bless us if we just defer to Him and His will for us, His children.

Change...

I went to church this morning. I missed so many old friends, it made me sad. I tried to concentrate on helping others as much as I could and then to listen intently to the preacher. I sang with my heart, and worshipped my Lord with my soul. I poured my heart out to Him.

Change is difficult. It's not easy and comfortable. I have a comfortable fellowship with my old friends. It takes time and effort to get to know new people. My heart breaks with missing those I care for. I don't know what I'm supposed to do... I'm trying to hang in there and tough it out. I need to know if God wants me to change directions or stick with it.

I just have to remember that God is the same in the past, now and forever. I can depend on Him to be there for me when I'm struggling with my feelings and new situations.

Lord, be my strength and help me to do what You plan for my life. Show me and guide me in all that I do.

Surrender

What is going on lately? It just seems like everything has gone wrong at once. I'm frustrated!
I feel like my husband and I are being manipulated by someone in the family who has made poor choices and expects us to get them out of it. We are still dealing with our own poor choices from the past, and struggling with my unemployment. I know we will help them, but I know we will also sacrifice in order to do that. I just want things to even out, be steady and peaceful. Does that ever happen for long? When things in our lives were going well, I kept crossing my fingers, praying the bottom wouldn't drop out...seems it just happens that way. Now I just keep hoping for better times.
Oh God, I need you right now! Please hold me and comfort me. Cradle me in the shadow of Your wings. Please keep giving me hope. Help me to trust in You. Help me to surrender to Your will.

An imperfect woman...a perfect child of God.

When I think about what it is I want people to see of me...of who I really am, I'm stumped. I think of myself as someone's wife, mother, sister, friend, Aunt, daughter. I really wonder sometimes who I am. How would I describe myself? Can I describe my personality without using others as a relative point to start from?
I am afraid of who I am, in truth. I am sure I would not live up to whatever other people think about me. I am so far from the woman I want to be. I have difficulty understanding what it is that makes others care for me...not that I am bad, but that I am unremarkable...average.
So, I have to trust in God's Word. That I am His, I am special because of that. I am forgiven of my sins, and loved. I am a daughter of the King of the Universe. I am someone He created to be exactly who I am.
Maybe I am created to be someone's mother, daughter, wife, sister, Aunt and friend. Maybe my worth is found in whatever God has put me here for. My worth is in His purpose for my life, whatever that might be.